Dating and Asperger's Syndrome

The teen years can be very complicated for kids with Asperger’s.  Dating can be especially confusing due to the social struggles and communication problems caused by Asperger’s Syndrome.  Here is a list of the most common problems when it comes to dating.

• Sensory Difficulties can make it difficult to go out on a date.  The sights, smells, and sounds of restaurants and movie theaters can be overwhelming to the teen with Asperger’s Syndrome.

• Recognizing the emotions that come with dating is also a challenge.  Teens with Asperger’s Syndrome usually have a hard time identifying emotional facial expressions, body language, and conversation.

• Social skills such as social cues and gestures, two-party conversations, and understanding sarcasm, humor, and slang can be nearly impossible for the teen with Asperger’s Syndrome to sort through.

• Routine is desirable for teens with Asperger’s Syndrome, but does not always lend itself to the world of dating.  Without a set routine, he may feel he is losing control of his life.

• Obsessions work against a dating relationship unless the topic is a mutual interest.  If not, this obsession will definitely compete for the affections of the teen with Asperger’s Syndrome.

Parents can help their teen with these Asperger’s dating issues.  The first thing parents should do is teach basic dating guidelines like how a person should be treated, how to guarantee safety, and how to develop friendships.  It is also a good idea for parents to role-play and practice dating situations, as well as review proper social skills. 

Some teens may need professional help with Asperger’s dating issues.  Autism support groups often have social skills classes for teens with Asperger’s Syndrome.  Individual counseling can help reduce anxiety and fear over the dating situation.

This time of life is scary and exciting for teens with Asperger’s.  Dating does not have to be anxiety-ridden.  With the help of parents, teachers, and counselors, teens with Asperger’s Syndrome can be successful in social relationships.

These and more questions can be answered in Dave Angel's Parenting Asperger's Resource Guide